At some point in our lives, each and every one of us has experienced some kind of breakup. Whether that be from a significant other, a close friend, or even a family member, we have seen the in’s and out’s of what it means to drift away from someone who once was a significant part of our lives. Now the question always is, does it get any easier? If I’m going to be honest, no. It doesn’t. But does each break teach us something new about ourselves and our view on life? Definitely.
When it comes to breakups, it is no doubt that every single person has a different way of coping. We each find comfort in other aspects of our lives that allows us to slowly move on from what once was. A breakup with something is inevitable- and that’s just the hard truth. People come and people go; parts of ourselves go with them. I’ve had my fair share of breakups over the years– boyfriends I loved deeply that didn’t work out, friends I’ve outgrown, family I’ve distanced from, but it all made me realize something. It made me realize that each and every one of those people have taught me something about myself that I otherwise wouldn’t have learned without the pain. It’s cheesy, but rainbows really can’t form without a little bit of rain.
For me to sit here and tell you that each breakup gets better would be a lie. Each relationship brings out different parts of you and what you stand for. Each boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, or loved one brought out sides of you that you may not have realized you had. As the hard-ass with a, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me” attitude, my relationships allowed me to embrace the softer side of me. I became in tune with my emotions and I allowed myself to feel and be felt. With every end that came, my biggest lesson was to be confident in who I was as a person, enough to conclude that I am enough, regardless of where things go with my s.o.
Each lesson has taught me what I do and don’t deserve. I don’t regret any of my relationships. I’m not the type to regret being in love or pouring myself out to someone temporary. I believe that it happened for a reason. I was able to become more in-tune with who I was and who I wanted to be in the future and I thank my heartbreaks for that. The breakups were what allowed me to grow the most because I always come back stronger, wiser, and more forgiving. My lessons have taught me that I don’t want to match anyone’s energy because I’d only be belittling my capabilities. I want to maintain my own aura and with that, I want to attract what’s really meant for me.
When it comes to coping, I always try to remind myself that if something I’m doing is making me feel like myself again, then I shouldn’t feel ashamed of those mechanisms. I like what I like, and just because it works for me, doesn’t necessarily mean it works for everyone else and that is okay. I use my experiences and what I go through to help inspire others to find their niche and it’s up to them to take it how they please.
My most recent heartbreak was one that sidelined me to the extreme, something I didn’t really see coming. But do I hate that person for making a decision that they felt was right for them? No. I don’t hate them. I would wish that more people had the ability to speak up for themselves when things just don’t feel right. No one is obligated to sacrifice themselves and their mental well-being for the sake of keeping another individual happy. When put into that perspective, it made me appreciate what we had, regardless of how long it lasted.
So, do breakups really get any easier? Maybe not, or maybe they do. I don’t have a solid answer to give you right now. But what I can say is that every person you cross paths with, whether they stay for years or are just passing by, they’re meant for something. They’re meant to help you grow, learn, and prosper in some way. The sting can feel unbearable sometimes, but you still wake up in the morning surrounded by so many silent lovers that are rooting for you. Every rainstorm brings some kind of bloom, it’s up to you whether you decide to embrace it, or not.
Mel's Vision 