A misconception that I and many others are guilty of is the idea that if we are unable to fit into the clothes we see our favorite influencers in, there must be something wrong with us. Our shape must be wrong, our hips must be too big or too skinny, our shoulders too broad, or our love handles too muffin at the top. False. With one big, fat capital F.
The beauty and fashion industry advertise their products in such a way that makes it seem like only one type of body can represent what they’re making. Even with strides made by companies like FashionNova, their product development still is representative of women with the perfectly proportional hour-glass figure– the thin-waist, wide-hip type. Though it’s a step forward, even that isn’t as realistic as it gets out here. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?
Although I have recovered from disordered eating, the thought of perfection and thinness lingers with you for years beyond that. Some days are definitely harder than others, but if it takes having to constantly remind myself that I am in control on my thoughts and perceptions, then that’s exactly what I will do. It wasn’t easy trying to see myself through others eyes. Through the eyes of strangers on the street that compliment my features, or my friends that embrace and hype up my insecurities with pure intentions. I never seemed to see what they see, until now. I rethought what food meant to me, and what my health meant to me. On the right track with my new relationship with food and my body, I wasn’t prepared for one thing however. Though I got better at embracing my body for it’s naturalness, I allowed the clothes I owned drill negativity in my mind. I was still unsure of how to use clothes to MY advantage, not let me clothes take advantage of me. It’s been a challenging mental game of styling my body type that made me feel confident in the body I house, but it’s getting there. I can follow trends my way in a way that was meant for me, and still feel stylish.
Don’t get it twisted, however. I am not one for following trends. But I do like what I like, and if something trendy happens to catch my eye in the moment, I’ll try it out. What I won’t do is think that my body type isn’t “trendy” or “stylish”. I will not let the subliminal stereotype of skinny, thick, and chiseled dictate what clothes I can and cannot pull off. My body’s not a blue print constructed based on seams and stitching. It’s not a perfectly shrunk size 5 waist with a size 10 ass. My hips don’t fit the ridges of jeans where my dips weren’t taken into account for by the designers. My stomach doesn’t align with the stitching of crop tops and bralettes, nor does it tuck perfectly into leggings a little too snug at the waist. But I make it work because my body deserves a homeowner who’s proud of its structure, regardless of the dents and ridges. It deserves a gardener who will tend to its needs when the outside world has a rougher forecast ahead.
Style became a battle between the what’s and how’s of fashion and dressing. Noticing how the sizing, flexibility, and framing of clothes can make or break how I felt about myself in the mirror dictated what I needed to upgrade in my closet. I used to stare at my mirror for hours throughout the day, wondering why my stomach rolled at the top of my jeans and my leggings creased with my cellulite in the light. I overthought. Over analyzed. Overly defined my body’s appearance based on a letter on a tag and a number on a hanger. We are not our own enemies and our bodies aren’t our battlegrounds. I’ve grown with my weight fluctuation, and I’ve learned to just size up (or size down) because a number won’t determine whether or not I should love myself. Nothing and no one can make me question that.
This applies to everyone. For my ladies struggling with their thinness, or wondering why their body doesn’t fill in “the right places,” you are 100% all right, and 0% wrong. Styling each of our bodies calls for different tips and tricks to help us feel a little more beautiful, and a little less “I don’t even want to go anymore.”
Square necklines for small breasts. Boyfriend jeans for hip dips. Patterned biker shorts for small booties. Darker colors for big booties. Peplum dresses for hiding the pudge, and body-con for a thicker-looking figure. There are so many opportunities to embrace the body that’s housed you all these years that the trends can’t even start to compare to.
Mel's Vision 